


don't tell them anything

by dhils



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Kink Exploration, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, bc why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 21:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16818571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhils/pseuds/dhils
Summary: “Is that a thing for you?”"I don’t know what you mean," Nico says, because if Nolan won’t say it, he won’t either.But. “Last time, when I held you down."





	don't tell them anything

**Author's Note:**

> i've wanted to write this since summer and i finally got around to it because my total wip count is uhhh zero??? lemme know if i need to tag anything!
> 
> title from female robbery by the neighbourhood bc i'm gay

It's starts easily enough.

Nolan’s got Nico pressed into the bed, Nico’s legs wrapped around his hips as he fucks into him lazily. Soft sounds of the beginnings of a thunderstorm batter against Nolan’s house, and Nico just sighs contently, letting it all overtake him. His breath is ragged if only because the slow pace makes his skin tingle, but it’s nice and easy, like Nico might break if they rush this. 

Surprisingly enough, he won’t, but with the recent news of his wrist injury coming out, Nolan’s been especially careful with him. It’s not something to be worried about, Nico’s played through it multiple times. Too many times. But this is still nice, arching up into Nolan while he sucks along his neck at chest, leaving soft red marks. 

Nico tries reaching out to run a hand down the length of his back, to trace over the dips and curves of his muscles, but Nolan pulls back to grab his arm just shy of his injured wrist, pressing it into the sheets. It’s gentle enough that Nico can still tell Nolan’s trying his best not to hurt him, but enough that it’s not going to move even if Nico jerked away. 

“Stop moving, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” Nolan whispers against the damp skin of his neck, and Nico just lets him pin his other wrist down at well, not struggling against the pressure of being held down, but just taking it. And he feels locked in place almost, grounded against the bed, and Nico can’t help the way his breaths start coming out shivery or how he desperately rolls his hips against Nolan. 

It gets him to amp up the pace just enough that Nico lets his eyes flutter shut and rides it out, trying to memorize the way Nolan won’t let him shift, the way he feels so stuck in place, as if he couldn’t move if he tried. It makes him feel powerless, fragile, with Nolan towering over him.

It’s a lot. It’s too much, enough that it makes Nico’s heart stutter in his chest and his legs tremble. The only friction he has against his dick is Nolan’s stomach, and Nico’s grinding up into it, desperate to come. He shouldn’t need to, not yet, but his skin feels like it’s on fire and he has to. Because this is so new, so different, and Nico wants.

When he comes, it rips a quiet cry from his throat, and he bows his spine up to push against Nolan, needy for the contact. He feels like he’s being suffocated, almost afraid to pry open his eyes until Nolan pulls away and he hears the sound of him tying off the condom. 

“Nico,” he says after a moment. The warm press of a washcloth follows soon afterwards, sweeping along his stomach. “Hey, where’d you go?” 

Nico blinks his eyes open and only realizes that Nolan’s let him go when he moves an arm to run his good hand through Nolan’s hair, keeping his touch delicate. “I’m right here,” he says quietly. He’s not sure if he wants to bring any of that up, whether or not he even knows how to talk about it.

“I mean, you zoned out on me,” Nolan says cautiously, he brushes his injured wrist gingerly enough that Nico can barely feel the light touch of his fingers. Part of him wants Nolan to grab it and pin it to the bed hard enough that he feels the roll of a radius underneath his palm, to hold him there until Nico’s pleading. And it’s. Just.

“Sorry,” he says, unsure if it sounds anywhere near genuine. There’s that underlying worry he can’t quite file away, and he can hear it in his own voice. Worry that he’s weird for wanting this, that Nolan wasn’t doing anything but stabilizing his wrist, and wanting much more would be wrong. It’s like a kick to a gut, or getting his heart squeezed by a fist. He feels guilty.

“Hey, no, _I’m_ sorry,” Nolan says. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. If I did, I’m so—“

“No, Nols, you didn’t do anything,” Nico says lightly, trying to sit up without putting any pressure on he wrist. He lets his fingers find Nolan’s jaw, leaning in to kiss the corner of his lips. 

It makes his stomach flip, knowing that he’s safe here with Nolan. That Nolan would do anything just to see him happy. It’s a lot to handle, and Nico swears it goes both ways. 

Nolan presses his brows together, and there’s a tiny line that forms between them. Nico isn’t too sure what to make of that, but when Nolan nods his head he lets out a small breath of air. It’s like blowing out relief. 

“But if you need to talk about something, you’ll tell me, right?” Nolan says, and Nico rolls his eyes.

“I’m not _dying_.” 

Nolan’s smiling, because he can read the better parts of Nico like a book. And the fondness in his expression feels crystal clear. “Okay, okay,” Nolan says, and puts a hand on Nico’s shoulder, pulling him in closer. He kisses him carefully slow, and Nico thinks there might just be something implied in that.

He wants to bring it up. He just doesn’t know how.

Because it’s not like there’s a fucking tutorial out there on how to sit down and tell your boyfriend you like being held down, not that Nico’s, like, tried searching it up.

He knows people are into crazier stuff like whips and shit, and after some thinking, wanting something like this could just be brushed off as normal. But he doesn’t know if Nolan specifically would be okay with that, if Nolan would want to hold him down. He’s done it once before, securing his wrist, keeping him safe, but that—it wasn’t the real thing. It was soft pressure, and now that Nico’s thinking about it. He wants more.

Now that he’s trying to memorize the feeling of being powerless, now that he jerks off thinking about it happening again, he knows it’s too late to turn back from this.

It’s gotten to the point where he has to say something, and maybe he would. If he wasn’t terrified of the idea of Nolan looking at him differently when all’s said and done. 

He’d let it spill if the thought of Nolan thinking he’s weird didn’t constantly linger in the back of his head.

Nico can’t possibly know if he doesn’t try speaking to him, but the thing is, he doesn’t want to try. 

And then, it happens again.

This time it’s when Nico’s at Nolan’s place in Winnipeg. The room is humid from the late summer night, and the only light between them is from the moon filtering in through the blinds. It makes the sweat on Nolan’s skin glisten, and his eyes look like they’re glowing when he leans in to plant kisses across his neck, gentle brushes of lips and teeth.

Nico’s breathing is a little awry, because Nolan’s thrusts have this force behind them that only comes through whenever Nico’s begging, because he always gives him what he wants when he’s sweet for it. And Nico gets to take, twisting his fingers into the sheets and biting back the need to move, no matter how badly he wants to reach down and touch himself. 

It makes his jaw drop slightly, and he can feel his nails pressing into his palms through the fabric of the sheets. It’s something different, when he has to will himself down from reaching on his own, but it’s still _something_. And Nico lets his eyes slip shut, letting Nolan punch quiet moans out of him.

He doesn’t realize his mouth is still hanging agape until he comes and Nolan’s lying next to him, peppering patient kisses along his jaw like he’s waiting for Nico to finally register it. Which—he does. It takes a while before he’s in his own head again, but all of this just takes so much out of him. He wants the real thing.

“Babe,” Nolan says, his voice sounding wrecked in his ear, and Nico turns his head to look at him.

It’s something out of a fairytale, how good Nolan looks just lying there watching him. The curve in his lips is quiet and dreamy, and Nico just wants to kiss it. He can’t believe he gets this. Somehow, it’s his. 

Nolan doesn’t really let him respond, adding on a quick, “Something’s up.”

Nico feels a wave of panic spiral up from somewhere deep down inside of him, and it’s hard to keep from immediately letting it show on his features. He tries to hide it, but. “What’s up?” Nico asks.

“I just.” He inhales, and Nico counts every one of his breaths before he speaks again. Easy and short, one, two, three— “Is that a thing for you?” Nolan waves his hand a little, as if it’s supposed to explain something. But Nico thinks he knows what that means.

He still plays dumb, for his own sake. “I don’t know what you mean.” Because if Nolan won’t say it, he won’t either.

But. “Last time, when I held you down. And this time, with you just—you didn’t try anything once. You were, like, perfectly still,” Nolan says, because unlike Nico he actually knows how to use his words. “You know you can trust me? I wouldn’t—I’d never judge you for that stuff.”

Nico blinks at him, forming ten different responses in his head and saying none of them.

“Or, shit, did I screw something up?“ Nolan asks.

“No,” Nico says quickly, reaching out to set a hand on Nolan’s hips. “Never, no. It’s never you.” 

“Then,” Nolan says. “Is it a thing?”

“I mean. It could be.” It feels good to say it, even if he’s only just alluding to it. But there’s still so much power in hinting at it, getting to let all of that drift off his shoulders just slightly. Nolan’s expression is unchanging, but he nods his head in understanding. “I’ve never. Done it. Like, really done it. I just thought maybe I’d want it. I _could_ want it.” 

“Oh.” Nolan swallows. He looks like he’s trying to choose his words carefully. “If you’d want to, we could do that, y’know. Like, the thing.” 

“The thing,” Nico parrots, and Nolan smiles. “Would you want to?”

“I want whatever you do.” It’s cheesy, maybe, but Nico feels a flow of liquid warmth flood through his veins. It‘s good, especially when it’s coupled with Nolan’s lazy smile. Or that sparkle in his eyes. 

It’s just that the idea of doing it makes Nico’s heart race, sending his mind to places he wants to be. And it’s a lot to process. “Yeah. Yes. Please.” He can feel a tingle of excitement trickling down his spine, and Nolan lets out this breathy chuckle.

“Okay, yeah,” he promises. “Once your wrist is better. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Nico feels his stomach clench. “You won’t.” 

“I just want to be safe,” Nolan says, and Nico isn’t sure how he got so fucking lucky.

It doesn’t take long for Nolan to give in after Nico insists he’s good to try this. It’s almost like Nolan just can’t make him wait, like it would feel wrong not to give Nico exactly what he wants. Thoughts like that light his skin up with a jolt. Filling up that part of him wanting to be loved and cared for, because Nolan always lets him have it. Always so sweet to him.

Nolan’s rummaging through his dresser, fishing for the lube and condoms. He’s in nothing but sweats and it’s a good look for him, freshly showered with droplets of water pooling into the divots along his collarbone. 

“Please don’t be gentle,” Nico hears himself say, barely a soft breath between between them. It‘s quiet, unable to be heard of you were really trying to make it out of the silence.

But even then, Nolan glances over at him, the things in his hand. It steals the air from his lungs, just to have his gaze pinning him down to the bed. Nico’s only in his boxers, so all of that is much more than overwhelming. “If anything goes wrong, I want you to tell me,” he says, his gaze intense. “Say fucking—OK Google. That’s a mood killer.” 

Nico blinks at him. “That might be too sexy.”

“Fine. Apple, then,” Nolan says. “Just—if your wrist starts hurting, tell me. I want this to be good for you.”

Nico nods his head, but there’s that feeling of doubt deep in his stomach, convincing him that there’s not a chance he’s going to need a safe word, let alone use it. Nolan’s not the type to push it that far. He’s kind and careful, always handling him with soft touches.

“We good?” Nolan asks, dropping the lube and condom on the bed, just out of Nico’s reach. 

“Perfect,” he insists. And sits up onto his elbows, just to get a little closer. “Kiss me, c’mon.” 

Nolan smiles and dips in closer. Nico gives like putty in his hands, molding into whatever Nolan wants him to be. It helps when he gets shoved up against the sheets, skin against skin, and it makes Nico feel bolted to the bed. Grounded, a little lost in his own head as Nolan feels him up, shamelessly arching up into his hands like he can’t survive without his touch

It doesn’t take long until Nico circles his hips up against Nolan’s and he catches the outline of his cock against his thigh. Nolan makes a pleased sound into his mouth, and it makes Nico’s lips buzz. The friction isn’t great, but it’s enough for now. 

Well, enough until it isn’t. And when it isn’t is when he reaches out to scratch his blunt fingernails down Nolan’s arms, trying to take exactly what he wants.

“Nols, please,” Nico says, his voice nearly lost in the press of their lips. “Fuck me, I want you to. I’ve wanted this forever. Just—let me have it.”

“Hey, shh, I got you.” Nolan leans down, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “You can take it?”

“Yeah,” Nico pants, and reaches out to curl his fingers around Nolan’s arm, keeping his grip loose. He just wants Nolan to know this is okay. That they can do this. “Don’t worry about me.” 

“I might still worry,” Nolan tells him, a soft curve to his lips. He dips in to kiss Nico’s forehead. He’s quick to grab the lube, squirting some out onto his fingers, and Nico can’t do much more than watch him, feeling a curl of arousal in his stomach the second a cool finger brushes up against his hole. 

He tests the waters, reaching out to jack himself, lightly enough that his fingers are barely there, and Nolan grabs his wrist. He brings it down to the sheets with enough pressure that he steals the air right from Nico’s lungs. And then, “Your other one,” he says. “You gonna be good for me?”

Nico can’t help but smile, exhaling as he reaches his other hand up, only to have it immediately confiscated. There’s something so much more electrifying when he’s getting held down as hard as he is now, unable to move, practically all he is.

Nolan trails his fingertips along his thigh, skimming along his skin just about everywhere but his dick. Right where Nico aches to be touched. He opens him up with one more finger, squeezing his wrists with a little warning every time Nico squirms underneath him. It’s so fucking _gratifying_ , he’s overwhelmed by it all. Powerless, small, and still. Just like that.

A sharp noise leaves his lips without his permission when the warmth of fingers get replaced by a blunt head pressing up against him. It shouldn’t shock him, they’ve done this enough times, but Nico’s head is spinning. He’s shivery with how good this is. Everything is so much better. 

Nolan looks like he’s trying to read him. “Can I?” He asks, careful.

And maybe he’s too quick to give in, letting a desperate, “Yes,” slip from his lips in a matter of moments. It’s only then that Nolan slides in, still steady, lighting him up from the inside out. 

Then comes the quiet noise from somewhere deep inside Nolan, and that dips right between Nico’s legs. Just because _he’s_ doing that, he’s got Nolan this hung up, and it’s a thought he still hasn’t gotten used to.

It’s both of Nolan’s hands holding him down now, and Nico doesn’t think he’d be able to move if he _really_ tried. He tests it out, pushing up against Nolan when he grinds deep into him, and he ends up choking out a pleased moan. It feels amazing, being held down. It’s everything he’s wanted. He silently hopes the feeling of Nolan restraining him never leaves, that he can think back to it whenever. 

When Nolan sets up a pace, it’s quick. His thrusts are sharp, shallow, enough to push Nico up the bed. Maybe if he hadn’t been pinned down. But like this, all Nico can do is take it, stuck in place, sending sparks of pleasure skittering across his skin.

He tips his head back, and he can practically _feel_ the way Nolan’s gaze roams over his bare skin, perfectly exposed. With Nolan on top of him like this, keeping him down, everything is open to him. And Nico wants nothing more than to let him have it.

“Throw your leg up,” Nolan tells him. And Nico obeys as swiftly as he can, desperate for the new angle he gets as soon as his ankle is hitched over Nolan’s shoulder. It’s enough to send a flare of warmth pooling in his abdomen, and Nico knows all too well what that means. He’s close, melting away in a mess of whimpers and moans, encouraging Nolan along. To keep it going and get him there. Both of them.

“Fuck, you’re just so good for it,” Nolan says, looking pleased when Nico nods feverishly. He just wants to feel it, wants to wake up in the morning with his muscles aching. Memories of Nolan spilled all across him.

“Just for you,” he says, his voice hoarse. 

“That’s right,” Nolan says, and punctuates it with a particularly hard thrust. Nico needs to hold back a sob, because there’s a knot in his stomach just threatening to come undone. He’s teetering on the edge, practically there. 

He breathes in. out. Unsure if he’s going to make it any longer, even if there isn’t a hand on him. He doesn’t need one, not like this.

“Please, please, please,” he begs, coupled with a slurred mantra of Nolan’s name. He’s not asking for something specific, he just _wants_. It’s obvious in his voice, with how desperate he sounds. Pleading. Nolan’s watching him, giving, giving, giving—

Nico shakes when he comes, feeling it down to his nerves. He’s loud, much louder than he intended to be, but it’s everything. And Nolan’s face is buried in the crook of his neck, lips closed around his pulse. He’s hazy, barely registering anything but Nolan fucking into him. He stays glued to his spot, and Nico doesn’t want him to leave.

When Nolan comes, he messes him up a little, and it’s exactly what Nico wants. 

“C’mere,” he whispers, urging Nolan to lean in closer, kissing him slowly. It’s lazy and just enough to make his heart glow.

They’re both quiet while Nolan takes care of the condom, dropping it in the trashcan in his bathroom, and he’s back quickly enough. Mostly because Nico’s usually sleepy after sex, and he just knows him too well. Unfairly well.

“Hi,” Nico says, leaning over to kiss Nolan’s nose when he drops back down to the bed. 

“Mm,” he hums, staying in close. “How’s it going?”

“Good. It always is, with you here.” Nolan scoffs, and Nico laughs. “Honestly, I’m great. Perfect.”

Nolan sighs happily, and Nico tips his head into the kiss that gets planted on his cheek. “Perfect.”


End file.
